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I woke up this morning and like most mornings, reached for my phone and caught up on social media. First was snapchat where I found this gem of an article from Cosmo Mag. 10 things he thinks about your vagina. The title alone was comical, so I had to read on.  Let’s take a look.

Here’s the title:

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Wow… Frank, Frank, Frank,

That’s some title. I have to say it captivated me and the article was truly entertaining, which I am assuming is the point. I mean you can’t expect to be educating anyone with an article like this. What is point of this article? Oh right, to objectify pretty much the only thing you think about.  Vaginas.

That’s actually kind of sad Frank. I mean, listen.. I have a vagina. I KNOW how cool they are, so I guess I can’t blame you for thinking about them or wanting them. I get the draw, I am with you on that. The ONLY thing you think about though? Wow. That must be exhausting and pretty repetitive.

In your article you ask some questions and make some statements. They are kind of open ended, so I thought I would help you out and address some of your curiosities. Let’s break it down a few at a time: 

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1.What does her Vagina look like? Well, Frank, you are right about one thing. They are all different, all beautiful and all unique just like the woman it is attached to. You know… the woman. The person you seem to have left out of this article. What you are doing here is objectifying vaginas.

Maybe you don’t realize that. After all you said that vaginas are all you think about. So it is clear that you don’t often think about the women that own them. Cosmo in infamous for articles about women’s bodies and how to improve them. In fact, media itself has given us a warped reality of what women’s bodies are, causing body issues, body shaming and low self esteem. This is especially true for younger, more impressionable women. You know, the ones reading your magazine. They are already obsessed about how their body looks. Now they have to worry about their vaginas too?

2.Its not the vagina that is the mystery, it’s the woman it’s attached to. We all have different turn ons and sensitivities. Do you want to know why we all work differently even when made up the same biologically? It’s really very simple. It’s because we have brains. Have you ever thought about a woman’s brains Frank? Those are also all different, beautiful and unique. In fact, if you like vaginas so much, I feel obliged to give you a little hint. Usually, the way to a woman’s vagina is through her brain. Thank me for that tip later.

3.Well, at least it’s a compliment. Although I have to admit, I am slightly curious what you have to compare it to.

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Next round:

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4. Pretend like your penis isn’t hanging between your legs. There, that’s what it’s like.

5. If she is orgasming, it either feels good, or she is faking it. If you aren’t sure which one it is, or what she likes… ask. It goes back to the brain thing again. We like when you ask, when you care and when you want to please. It makes our brain and our bodies happy.

6. The point of a tampon is that you shouldn’t be able to feel it. If you can’t imagine walking around with something up your butt all day, now would probably be a good time to take your head out of it.

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There’s more:
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7. Yeah we have a clit and vagina. Lucky us. I like to think of it as the universes way of paying us back for bleeding profusely once a month for a majority of our lives. In addition it’s also retribution for all the other things we need to deal with. Yeast infections, cramps, UTI’s, ovulation, pregnancy, miscarriages, OB/GYN exams, BIRTHS, birth control, hormone imbalances, waxing… should I go on?

8. You are 28?! 28! And all you think about is Vaginas all day?? oy!

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#9 is for sure my favorite:

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9. I really don’t even know where to begin with this one. Let me explain something to you. Vaginas are a sacred place and should be treated as such. I think I speak for most women when I say – ew, GROSS! Our vaginas aren’t storage facilities, grocery stores or Mary Poppins purse. No shaming any women who might have gotten down with a corn on the cob, but Frank,  I mean really, what the fuck?

10. I think you should give compliments. In fact, maybe if you compliment the woman that owns the Vagina, you’ll actually get to think about them less, and see them more.

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Cover stories on Cosmo as well as many other women’s magazine usually read as such: “Shrink your inner thighs in 6 minutes a day” and “Feel your best in a bikini in 5 moves”. These ridiculous suggestions are secondary to the articles about how to please men. Articles range from “Simple ways to make him worship you” to “10 things guys crave in bed” are pretty common in most editions.

Frank, you write about sex. I get that. Clearly you love women (or at least their body parts). I get that too. So my burning question is, why is it that you are contributing to the objectification of women? Why aren’t there more articles titled: “Simple ways to learn to worship yourself” or “Feel your best in a bikini all the time”? Millions of people read Cosmo every month. MILLIONS. Is the only way to gain readership these days with shocking headlines, objectification and beyond photoshopped images of perfect women?

Frank, I would like to think that if you truly love sex and women there has to be some articles you can write that will still gain you readership and uplift women at the same time. Articles that will teach men to treasure women as a whole, not just body parts. Articles that will help women become comfortable with their bodies and sexuality.  Think about it. You know, in those few minutes you aren’t thinking about vaginas.

xo,

Jen

 

 

  • maria - “Simple ways to learn to worship yourself” or “Feel your best in a bikini all the time”?

    Yeeeeeeesss…. Perfect.ReplyCancel

  • Nikki Clark - I read this and literally spit my drink out, laughed my ass off, and after the end, stood up and applauded you in my office. THIS is exactly what is wrong with society. If more women would stand up and say “I’m not going to buy your magazine because of crap like this,” the world would be a better place. Thank you for giving me another reason to scream from the mountain tops (not literally) stop defining women by their bodies!
    Thank you so much!ReplyCancel

  • Laura Luongo - OMG…you are so spot on!!! Love it, only a New York woman would have guts and ump to respond to this. Poor guy.

    Keep up the great work Jen! Ian working on my studio and will be shooting and posting soon.

    You see, I recently spent a serious amount of years(6) with a man very similar to the one above. The fallout, besides freedom is lost self esteem, self worth and so on because at the end of the day I simply felt like some kind of object.

    No more……getting my life back, second by second.

    This made my day!

    LauraReplyCancel

  • Brandi Engel - I am dying! Jen, you have one helluva way with words! Love your insights, comments and overall attitude about this article. I was JUST talking to my daughter last night about this same article, telling her how ridiculous the articles in Cosmo are for the same reasons you mention. You da bomb.com girl, keep it up!ReplyCancel

  • James Ray - Holy hormones Batman. I don’t even know where to start, is there a literary sex offender list we can put him on? These idiots are the reason MY job as a Model Management Company is such a pain in the ass. It’s never just about the job, it always has to be angled to get laid. Women are completely different, never met two a like. Yet there is a stigma that they should all conform to standards set but morons like this. My daughter (facebook.com/modelapril) is a model, yet still she gets body shamed for being too skinny. Are you fucking kidding me? Too skinny, because she works out and eats healthy (most of the time) and her metabolism is that of a 22 year old girl. She wrote her college essay on it, then asked for hands of the girls that had also been body shamed in the class – every single female hand. It’s amazing that we are capable of such great feats in this country yet the mentality of individuals can be so ridiculous.ReplyCancel

  • Diana MacDougall - Cosmo is supposed to be a WOMEN’S magazine. This is a perfect example how even WOMEN’S magazines are male-centered. Oy, indeed. And KUDOS Jen! HAHA GREAT retorts!ReplyCancel

As a women with a busy life, every night when I lay my head down to sleep I check the trending topics on Facebook. Not because I give a shit about any Kardashian and what they are up to. I check it because honestly, Facebook has become my news source in this modern day and age.

Last night, when I checked the topics I saw one that said “Ghostbusters: Movie’s Trailer Is Most Disliked in YouTube History”. Being a child of the 80’s and a huge Ghostbusters fan, clearly I had to check it out. I immediately called up the trailer

The movie had such a familiar, fun feel. They have the hearse, NYC backdrop, amazing graphics and green slime. The trailer made me laugh and smile. The characters are essentially the same, after all they are based on the original 4. There’s really only one major difference I can find in this movie from the last.

The Ghostbusters are women. 

Now I am not saying this is going to be an Emmy award winning movie by any means, but it was far from awful looking!!  The cast, Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, and Chris Hemsworth is solid. If you don’t laugh when these women are on screen, you might want to check your pulse.

I turned to my husband when the trailer ended with a confused look on my face. I said “That actually looks pretty good!” He agreed. I then commented, “I think it has so many dislikes… because the Ghostbusters are… women.” He agreed again.

I am dumbfounded by this.

Yes ok, one can argue it’s just a little movie and I shouldn’t take it so seriously. Let’s break this down though. As of March 15, 2015 Google estimates  there are 81,941,760 videos currently on youtube. (and that was a year ago!) 81 MILLION videos and THIS one is the most disliked in history? 

Is it just a movie? Maybe. For me, it has served as a reminder of how women are still fighting to be who they want to be without any shame. Poor Lucille Ball must be rolling in her grave at the awful outpouring of hate towards this movie and the women in it. It’s a sad representation of the old fashioned thinking that still strangely exists in 2016.

In a day and age where we can possibly conceive a woman as president, there is still discomfort in a woman being funny or a woman doing a “man’s job”.  It’s such an old, exhausting story. Isn’t it time for a new one?  A story where women can be and do whatever they want!

Women, it’s up to US to rewrite the story, after all.. we can do anything we put our minds to! How will you change the worlds mind today?

xo,

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Christie Conyer - Yaaaaassss ma’am! Thank you for this. It is such a shame but I think you are right on the money.ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This was a fantastic post and I hate to think that is why it was so disliked. But I loved the trailer and believe that could be the only reason why. So sad.
    Unless ghostbusters wasn’t originally awkwardly funny???ReplyCancel

I believe every woman can celebrate her unique femininity, shamelessly. This is what I live for. It’s why I am a photographer. It’s how I live my own life. It influences how I parent my daughter.

When you come to me and shed your clothing and I photograph you, it’s part of the process of living shamlessly. I offer a safe and wonderful place that allows you to express your unique femininity without any judgements. In fact, just the opposite. With many praises. It is an experience that I have seen be life changing over and over again.

It offers you self confidence, freedom, and a retraining of your brain that you can do something daring and good things come of it. I hear from women over and over that they want to do this, they NEED this – but something is stopping them.

Well now, I am taking away at least one large excuse.

Money.

This summer I am once again offering 10 spots for boudoir shoots that I call “Name your own price shoots.” (I did this two years ago and it was a huge hit!)

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That’s right!! Email me what you are looking for in a shoot and what you want to pay. It’s that simple. No reasonable offer will be refused. If I can’t photograph you for what you offer, I will come back with a package that will hopefully work for both of us. (edit: After some consideration I realize that I will most certainly lose money on shoots less than $500. All offer should be $500 or above). As a reference, my standard shoots start at $999 and include a 1 hour shoot, professional makeup and 10 digital images of your choice fully edited. (You can also book standard packages as well!)

There are a few guidelines to take into consideration:

1. I am starting by offering 10 slots from now until July 28, 2016.

2. I HIGHLY recommend you have your makeup done by my staff. It’s a small added expense that lends itself to HUGE results.

3. Sessions are shot Tuesday – Thursday and bookings start at 10am

4. Yes, You can get a few girlfriends together and all come on the same day.

5. What is a reasonable offer? Well, in my mind it is one in which you are happy to pay it and I am happy to receive it. Please keep in mind I need to cover my expenses at the minimum and since I do pay my bills this way making a little money would be awesome too.

6. I offer products such as albums and prints as well as digital only packages. We accept MasterCard/Visa and Cash.

7. I promise you an awesome experience no matter what you pay.

My email is jenrozenbaum@gmail.com – want a shoot? Now’s the time!!

xo,
Jen

Welcome to 2016. 

Do you make resolutions for the new year? I don’t. That isn’t to say I don’t have a million things to improve on, or I don’t want to lose 10 pounds. It just means that I now know that every day is the start of new year. Every day, every minute, every second is a chance for change.

Sometimes that theory works the opposite direction.

Sometimes, in a second your life is changed. 

We have all witnessed it. A death, a divorce, a diagnosis. Something that will change your life in an instant. Recently it happened to me.  I received a call in the tea and coffee aisle of the grocery store. I can remember the smell. Coffee, the scent of mornings and new beginnings. It was one of my dearest friends on the line. She had news. It was cancer.

Fortunately, this story doesn’t have a tragic ending. She is ok. She is still being treated, but thankfully she is ok. It shook me though. It made me wonder about all the seconds in my own life and how I am going to spend them.

Today, instead of returning to the office after a few weeks hiatus to celebrate the holidays, I took the time to have a mammogram. There were SO many other things that needed my attention today. I had a shitload of emails waiting for me, and deadlines to meet. I had laundry and cleaning for miles.

Today I made me more important. I put aside my lengthy to do list and took care of my health. As women, it’s not something that is so easy for us to do.

Women are GREAT at making sure others are cared for, but we rarely prioritize ourselves. 

I got to thinking… isn’t taking care of us also taking care of those we love? Maybe I will make a resolution after all. In 2016, I will take care of me as carefully as I care all others I love. Resolution made!

Who is with me?

xo,

Jen

 

  • Michelle - I am 100% with you! Thank you for that gentle reminder… I’m sending my sincere wishes of strength for your friend.ReplyCancel

  • Nathan - Firstly, Happy New Year from New Zealand :-)Glad that your friend is doing well, it’s not something we would wish for any friend, that’s for sure. It is amazing how we do care for the ones we love dearly and yet we do forget the one we should care for the most, ourselves. Take care of No.1 first and then worry what others do or say. What would they do without you if you weren’t around :-)ReplyCancel

  • Katrina Gallant-russo - Thank you for always bringing the truth and inspiration into your work and especially for encouraging all of us😘ReplyCancel

  • Lerou Silveston - Yes, I do agree … but also I wonder why that is so? Why always others before us ???? Sending hope for your friend and awareness for all of us.ReplyCancel

  • Angela - Thank you Jenn, for that reminder. I sat here and read you article and it was something I had just experienced. My sister and her husband were going to visit a lifelong friend who was on Hospice from cancer, and I offered to watch the grandkids when they got home from school so they could spend the day. Instead at 4am my sister called me and her husband had a heart attack, and I was on the phone as the EMT’s told her they could not revive him. Our world was turned upside down, 2 days before Christmas. A week later their friend died. It was very sad and tragic. We are picking up the pieces as I write this. Of course it’s hardest for my sister, as much as we all miss him and glad he was a part of our lives. They started dating when she was 16 and were together 51 years! I’ve always tried to stay on top of my health, appointments etc. With everything going on, I did not make my appointment, so your article was very relevant to me. I just added, make my appt. to my list of things I need to do, as I get my life back to a new normal. I hope your friend’s treatment goes well and you get to be friends for a very long time. May we all have a much better 2016!ReplyCancel

    • Jen Rozenbaum - I am so sorry to hear about your tragic losses. My thoughts are with you.ReplyCancel

      • Glenda - Amen…My sister was told she had cancer of the liver in March and I lost her the day after Christmas. For the last nine months we laughed, cried but most of all, we enjoyed life to the fullest. Ladies don’t ignore that pain that won’t go away and take the time to make time for you and your health. In a blink of an eye time is gone. God Bless all of youReplyCancel

  • Sandie - This is something I am constantly telling my clients. Why do women put themselves last? Our time & spending priorities are husband/boyfriend, then when the kids come along, the kids are first. Then after that it’s our parents, our pets, our home. But never us. This has to change. We need to love ourselves and value ourselves as much as (or even more) others do. Only this way can we appreciate life to the full. Every day!
    And your blog post is a timely reminder that I need to book an appointment with my dentist!ReplyCancel

Living your authentic self. When I think about it, it seems so easy. Wait, let me rephrase that. It shouldn’t be hard.

Why is just being simply who you are so…. difficult?

I don’t know why. I do know that I struggle with it, and I know other do too. Just today I received two messages from women asking for advice. One on how to be vulnerable as well as authentic, and one who is feeling burned after getting in touch with her own authenticity and living it fully.

I used to spend a lot of time trying to find myself. I have stopped that. Now, I live more in the moment and listen to my gut. (Thank you Yoga!) After all, I can’t find myself when I am ever evolving and moving.

The truth is though, I know WHO I am. That’s never been the struggle. It’s LIVING who I am that is. I mean, what happens if I am more myself than I have ever been and people stop liking me? What if I scream my message from the rooftops and people scream back to “SHUT UP!”? What if my authenticity is outright rejected?

Those questions (and others) keep me up at night sometimes. You know those nights when your brain is in overdrive and you think up every worst case scenario.

Truly though, is it ever worst case scenario if you are being true to yourself?

Isn’t authenticity where the fulfillment comes from?  How could you feel bad about being authentic. Yeah, some bad shit may happen (like a hater or a ruined relationship)- but bad shit is temporary.

Authenticity however,  is forever. 

xo,

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

  • Rebecca Nash-Emerson - Thank you for this reminder Jen!

    I have struggled over and over with living who I am (and I’m sure it will continue to be a struggle sometimes). I am a huge people pleaser but really need to learn to accept that while I will always want to do what I can to make others happy, it’s ok to first check in and make sure that the way I am trying to make them happy sits right with me and who I am.ReplyCancel

  • lulgi - Learning and understanding how to get out of one’s own way is key. My personal successes became much easier, more comfortable and more consistent (I even became a straight “A” student when returning to college to complete a degree at the age of 55) when I accepted this lesson and put ego aside.ReplyCancel

  • Robert Goldsmith - Just a fan of your whole philosophy of shooting women who enjoy the boudoir style and want to involve themselves in it for any of the many reasons we get on both sides of the camera.ReplyCancel

  • Brandi Engel - Oh how I love your wisdom. I find more wisdom in my 40’s than anything else. I also find more humility and patience. Or it could be that someone above is just giving me more grace now lol! Either way 40’s rock!ReplyCancel

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