Masthead header

Shamelessly Feminine | One Man’s thoughts on the Vagina

I woke up this morning and like most mornings, reached for my phone and caught up on social media. First was snapchat where I found this gem of an article from Cosmo Mag. 10 things he thinks about your vagina. The title alone was comical, so I had to read on.  Let’s take a look.

Here’s the title:

Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 8.37.08 AM

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Wow… Frank, Frank, Frank,

That’s some title. I have to say it captivated me and the article was truly entertaining, which I am assuming is the point. I mean you can’t expect to be educating anyone with an article like this. What is point of this article? Oh right, to objectify pretty much the only thing you think about.  Vaginas.

That’s actually kind of sad Frank. I mean, listen.. I have a vagina. I KNOW how cool they are, so I guess I can’t blame you for thinking about them or wanting them. I get the draw, I am with you on that. The ONLY thing you think about though? Wow. That must be exhausting and pretty repetitive.

In your article you ask some questions and make some statements. They are kind of open ended, so I thought I would help you out and address some of your curiosities. Let’s break it down a few at a time: 

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 8.37.15 AM

——————————————————————————————————————————-

1.What does her Vagina look like? Well, Frank, you are right about one thing. They are all different, all beautiful and all unique just like the woman it is attached to. You know… the woman. The person you seem to have left out of this article. What you are doing here is objectifying vaginas.

Maybe you don’t realize that. After all you said that vaginas are all you think about. So it is clear that you don’t often think about the women that own them. Cosmo in infamous for articles about women’s bodies and how to improve them. In fact, media itself has given us a warped reality of what women’s bodies are, causing body issues, body shaming and low self esteem. This is especially true for younger, more impressionable women. You know, the ones reading your magazine. They are already obsessed about how their body looks. Now they have to worry about their vaginas too?

2.Its not the vagina that is the mystery, it’s the woman it’s attached to. We all have different turn ons and sensitivities. Do you want to know why we all work differently even when made up the same biologically? It’s really very simple. It’s because we have brains. Have you ever thought about a woman’s brains Frank? Those are also all different, beautiful and unique. In fact, if you like vaginas so much, I feel obliged to give you a little hint. Usually, the way to a woman’s vagina is through her brain. Thank me for that tip later.

3.Well, at least it’s a compliment. Although I have to admit, I am slightly curious what you have to compare it to.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Next round:

Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 8.37.15 AMa——————————————————————————————————————————-

4. Pretend like your penis isn’t hanging between your legs. There, that’s what it’s like.

5. If she is orgasming, it either feels good, or she is faking it. If you aren’t sure which one it is, or what she likes… ask. It goes back to the brain thing again. We like when you ask, when you care and when you want to please. It makes our brain and our bodies happy.

6. The point of a tampon is that you shouldn’t be able to feel it. If you can’t imagine walking around with something up your butt all day, now would probably be a good time to take your head out of it.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

There’s more:
Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 8.37.18 AM

——————————————————————————————————————————-

7. Yeah we have a clit and vagina. Lucky us. I like to think of it as the universes way of paying us back for bleeding profusely once a month for a majority of our lives. In addition it’s also retribution for all the other things we need to deal with. Yeast infections, cramps, UTI’s, ovulation, pregnancy, miscarriages, OB/GYN exams, BIRTHS, birth control, hormone imbalances, waxing… should I go on?

8. You are 28?! 28! And all you think about is Vaginas all day?? oy!

——————————————————————————————————————————-

#9 is for sure my favorite:

Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 8.a37.18 AM

 

——————————————————————————————————————————-

9. I really don’t even know where to begin with this one. Let me explain something to you. Vaginas are a sacred place and should be treated as such. I think I speak for most women when I say – ew, GROSS! Our vaginas aren’t storage facilities, grocery stores or Mary Poppins purse. No shaming any women who might have gotten down with a corn on the cob, but Frank,  I mean really, what the fuck?

10. I think you should give compliments. In fact, maybe if you compliment the woman that owns the Vagina, you’ll actually get to think about them less, and see them more.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Cover stories on Cosmo as well as many other women’s magazine usually read as such: “Shrink your inner thighs in 6 minutes a day” and “Feel your best in a bikini in 5 moves”. These ridiculous suggestions are secondary to the articles about how to please men. Articles range from “Simple ways to make him worship you” to “10 things guys crave in bed” are pretty common in most editions.

Frank, you write about sex. I get that. Clearly you love women (or at least their body parts). I get that too. So my burning question is, why is it that you are contributing to the objectification of women? Why aren’t there more articles titled: “Simple ways to learn to worship yourself” or “Feel your best in a bikini all the time”? Millions of people read Cosmo every month. MILLIONS. Is the only way to gain readership these days with shocking headlines, objectification and beyond photoshopped images of perfect women?

Frank, I would like to think that if you truly love sex and women there has to be some articles you can write that will still gain you readership and uplift women at the same time. Articles that will teach men to treasure women as a whole, not just body parts. Articles that will help women become comfortable with their bodies and sexuality.  Think about it. You know, in those few minutes you aren’t thinking about vaginas.

xo,

Jen

 

 

  • maria - “Simple ways to learn to worship yourself” or “Feel your best in a bikini all the time”?

    Yeeeeeeesss…. Perfect.ReplyCancel

  • Nikki Clark - I read this and literally spit my drink out, laughed my ass off, and after the end, stood up and applauded you in my office. THIS is exactly what is wrong with society. If more women would stand up and say “I’m not going to buy your magazine because of crap like this,” the world would be a better place. Thank you for giving me another reason to scream from the mountain tops (not literally) stop defining women by their bodies!
    Thank you so much!ReplyCancel

  • Laura Luongo - OMG…you are so spot on!!! Love it, only a New York woman would have guts and ump to respond to this. Poor guy.

    Keep up the great work Jen! Ian working on my studio and will be shooting and posting soon.

    You see, I recently spent a serious amount of years(6) with a man very similar to the one above. The fallout, besides freedom is lost self esteem, self worth and so on because at the end of the day I simply felt like some kind of object.

    No more……getting my life back, second by second.

    This made my day!

    LauraReplyCancel

    • David - Laura,
      I have to disagree with you on one point.
      Aussie women would have sought him out and smacked him around the ears, given him a solid boot up the backside and posted the video of it.

      Excellent response to a really dumb, stupid article Jen.ReplyCancel

  • Brandi Engel - I am dying! Jen, you have one helluva way with words! Love your insights, comments and overall attitude about this article. I was JUST talking to my daughter last night about this same article, telling her how ridiculous the articles in Cosmo are for the same reasons you mention. You da bomb.com girl, keep it up!ReplyCancel

  • James Ray - Holy hormones Batman. I don’t even know where to start, is there a literary sex offender list we can put him on? These idiots are the reason MY job as a Model Management Company is such a pain in the ass. It’s never just about the job, it always has to be angled to get laid. Women are completely different, never met two a like. Yet there is a stigma that they should all conform to standards set but morons like this. My daughter (facebook.com/modelapril) is a model, yet still she gets body shamed for being too skinny. Are you fucking kidding me? Too skinny, because she works out and eats healthy (most of the time) and her metabolism is that of a 22 year old girl. She wrote her college essay on it, then asked for hands of the girls that had also been body shamed in the class – every single female hand. It’s amazing that we are capable of such great feats in this country yet the mentality of individuals can be so ridiculous.ReplyCancel

  • Diana MacDougall - Cosmo is supposed to be a WOMEN’S magazine. This is a perfect example how even WOMEN’S magazines are male-centered. Oy, indeed. And KUDOS Jen! HAHA GREAT retorts!ReplyCancel

  • Carol - I hadn’t read that article but I am so glad you gave Frank the what-for! You are so right about Cosmo getting it’s act together and publishing some article that would lift women up.
    Thanks for the great post!ReplyCancel

  • Donna - I stopped reading this magazines years ago. I felt my IQ drop every time I picked on up. These are supposed to be magazines for women, but there are numerous men I know who read them. So, not only are women being made to feel badly about their bodies, men are being taught to objectify women from magazines for women.ReplyCancel

  • Alicia - Spit out my coffee reading this!! Right on! Tell him, Jen, TELL HIM!!!! :)ReplyCancel

  • Rick - Frank’s an idiot. Cosmo failed here. Jen’s spot on. Please remember its just one man’s thoughts. We’re not all dragging our knuckles on the ground.ReplyCancel

  • Kevin - From a (real) mans perspective… 1st – I LOVE woman – ALL of them (head to toe),,and yes, ALL woman. BUT, maybe that’s because I have the utmost respect for them. So much so, that sometimes I think maybe I should be a woman,,, Maybe it was my mothers fault – she made me think with my brain. And since I use the one in my head, maybe that’s why I think I AM a woman. The whole article is kinda funny, but unfortunately in a demented way. I LOVE Jens reply to #6!
    I think we need to feel sorry for this dick…after all he’s really thinking with it. I’m glad he isn’t speaking for all MEN!
    BTW, the vagina is inside a woman. I think he means the vulva and labia which form the entrance. The cervix of the uterus protrudes into the vagina. So, please forgive the poor ignorant idiot.
    The true beauty of a woman is portrayed WONDERFULLY in Jen Rozenbaum photography,,, which is why she is such a beautiful person.ReplyCancel

  • Joe Tharp - Quite humorous. But I must admit as a man, I really wasn’t thinking about vaginas until I read this article. Thanks a lot Jen! lolReplyCancel

  • scott - This was a funny read however I don’t think they really interview people for these. I think women write for these magazine thinking that’s what men would think. These are not typical of how a guy would think.ReplyCancel

  • Lerou - Wow ! dead on answers for a simply stupid outrageous article !!ReplyCancel

  • Heather Buttelmann - Awesome job Jen! Thank you for sharing with us and enlightening all the “Franks” out there.ReplyCancel

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*

UA-6924253-1